Sunday, June 3, 2012

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Lie... hmmm..? but why ?

Some people are good at playing with words..and they even good at lying. I just cannot understand... infact.. I try to ignore... but the more I ignore.. more lies are apa I buat... 'klik klik klik klik' - habis cerita! And I read series of psychological studies, focusing on students who lie on their grade and in fact, such act did not induces anxiety at all. They found out that people who lie often work to live up to the enhanced self-images they project. The findings imply that some kinds of deception are aimed more at the deceiver than at the audience, and they may help in distinguishing braggarts and posers from those who are expressing personal aspirations, however clumsily. Hmmm kelakar.. but aren't they just fool themselves? "Ibarat menepuk air di dulang.. terpercik di muka sendiri" Psychologists have studied that these people are those with guilty knowledge — when they are highly motivated to get away with their lies and even THEY CREATE MORE LIES ........ So why?? Based from my readings... and experience dealing with these group of people, one of the reasons why someone tells a lie is because of the fear of possible consequences involved when telling the truth. They normally hiding something from their friends and family members -- opting to tell a lie rather than being punished for telling the truth... but poor thing laa for the family members tu.... Anther reason why people lie, is just wanna improving their own image in the eyes of their friends and families.In order to uplift their social on par with others, a person would often create stories, usually on the spot, to make sure that the other party is kicked out of the limelight. But they have forgotten THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO DETECT if what they say are just another lie...or even their gestures... body language... eyes movement .. kan adik Raja Kamariah? She should know all these.... she studied cognitive psychology... she should explain better... This psychology of lying is just a temporary rise on the social ladder, and will often be replaced with embarrassment when the truth comes out... and it depends on what circumstances... but ... they will make fool of themselves.... Well, people may lie due to the fear of the consequences when they tell the truth or to boost their self-image?? It depends .... but I am tired with these people... 'berlagak pandai... tapi sebenarnya kepandaian itu memperlihatkan kebodohannya'

Friday, January 27, 2012

Blunt pencil.......

This is only my observation..... people whom before look down at others...and suddenly become so 'manis mulut' and in fact referring others as their 'friend' ... and those friends are superb!

Hmmmmm I wonder....again from my observation ... there was a group of people whom felt that they werre so perfect and became teachers' pet ... scored with flying colors .. beautiful alphabets in their report cards.. while there was a little girl whom always be punished for her/his 'crazy' answers when was asked (by teachers)... and after many years and I still wonder... where were those 'classy girls' and that little girl ya? hmmm... as the song says "Que Sera sera.. what ever will be will be .. the future are not ours to see.. Que sera sera ..."

And I remember a hadith (Abu Daud) ... said that Prohet Pbuh said "God has revealed to me that you must be humble, so that no one oppresses another and boasts over another."

I will always remember and this is so close to my heart. Insya Allah.

But I wonder (again....) some people are counting their achievement... no matter its other people achievement.. and some people are so choosy in terms of picking their friends network.. pelik pelik .. I wonder .. and if it happens to me, sure I smell something fishy.. sishy... cooshy.. kuchhhhy... kuch ta nak kawan ke tak? Hmmm..... bak masa kecik kecik dulu.....

"siapa tu saya lah...nama kau dolah, taknak kawan, tak lah, ea ea ea sebelah.."

In the Quran also said (22:34-35) "(O Prophet Muhammad) give good news to the humble, whose hearts tremble with awe at the mention of God, who endure adversity with patience, who establish regular prayer, and who spend in charity out of what we have given them."

May Allah protect me from those feelings of 'riak' and 'show-off' thing... I want to be like my sister ... Adik Dhada... tho she has earned 3 masters and 2 phds ... but she still like she is... sempoi... pakai seliper... pakai t-shirt n jeans ... tak de plak nak meroyan sini sana kan ...... I am proud of you dik!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sama tapi......

Sometimes I felt too old, though my needs just like teens .... kekkeek... and that make me whisper to myself

“Oh! Begini rasanya melalui usia menjelang tua..”

Too many things I remember.... too many pictures in my mind... and that make me rindu..rindu yang amat rindu..rindu yang amat dalam..ingatan yang amat segar…

Sometimes....... I search and look back for old good times....but.… bukan semuanya masih serupa. Bukan semuanya masih sama utuh seperti dahulu..banyak yang berubah…

And this make me understood the meaning of Malays peribahasa “anak sungai lagikan berubah”.

(cakap melayu laa yo)

Tapi itulah hakikatnya MANUSIA..manusia mengalami perubahan..sejak lahir..dibedung dikelek, menangis, ketawa, meniarap, merangkah, bertatih dan berjalan….terus berkembang..terus belajar..sesungguhnya proses pembelajaran itu adalah proses sepanjang hayat..

Pelbagai perkara yang ditempuh dalam hidup..yang pahit, yang manis, yang indah, yang melukakan..apapun semua itulah mencorak seseorang insan menjadi seadanya mereka pada hari ini…anggaplah mereka berubah akibat persekitaran dan pengalaman yang dilaluinya..

Janganlah bersedih…Yang penting aku..aku mesti berubah..berubah ke arah yang lebih baik…Tebus kembali dosa-dosa zaman nakal ku, zaman remaja..( teman-teman…khilaf yang lalu kupohon keampunan ..doakan aku ke arah yang lebih baik..Tidak sombong..ikhlas.. menjadi manusia yang lebih berguna..dan semakin mendekati-Nya…sesungguhnya dedaun pohon di Loh Mahfuz milikku berguguran satu persatu ditelan usia..Begitulah kata orang tua-tua..).

Aku bersyukur kerana adanya seorang psikologis dirumahku .. Psikologis peribadi (dan psikologis kerajaan) yang jauh lebih muda tetapi matang dalam pertimbangannya apabila berbicara baik soal insan mahupun ketuhanan (Syukur Alhamdulillah..Terima kasih Dik). Menyambung bicara tentang rindu, ada kalanya aku jadi keciwa kerana perkara yang berlaku tidak seperti yangku harapkan..

Misalnya aku mengingati zaman kanak-kanakku..aku berusaha mengesan kawan-kawanku..namun ada diantaranya apabila ku temui dia sudah tidak sama seperti dahulu..jauh berubah..tiada lagi mesra..tiada lagi taw aria..segala-galanya asing..seperti aku tidak pernah dikenalinya.. seolah-olah aku tidak pernah hadir walau sekelumitpun dalam sejarah hidupnya…Ah…menyesalnya aku meluangkan masa mengingatinya….Tika itu psikologisku berkata…

“ Usah dikesal..usah dikeluh..kerana pengalaman mengubah manusia….Awak selalu menjaga segala memori sedari kecil umpama menatang minyak yang penuh. Kamar memori mu terjaga rapi sehingga tidak ada sekelumitpun memori itu yang terpinggir..semuanya begitu terjaga umpama difilemkan. Tidak tercalar..tidak tercemar. Itu kelebihanmu.. Bukankah saya telah katakan dahulu, dirimu insan mempunyai photographic memory yang kuat..gambar-gambar yang terakam begitu jelas….

Simpanan filem filemmu begitu sistematik dan terurus, mudah dicari, mudah diteliti dan kau tayangkannya berulang-ulang sehingga menjadi NOSTALGIE….sedangkan orang lain telah kehilangannya..atau mungkin dia telah merakamkan filem yang lebih signifikan seketiadaanmu dan men’delete’ filem lama yang kurang justifikasinya…atau apa mungkin pengalaman menjadikan mereka tidak lagi sama seperti sebelumnya..Terimalah hakikat itu….”

… Dan aku pun terkulat-kulat..berusaha untuk menerima itulah HAKIKATnya..

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Sunday, May 22, 2011


it's Me

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Waiting @ Munich - Prague

Serene, I fold my hands and wait,
Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea;
I rave no more 'gainst time or fate,
For lo! my own shall come to me.

I stay my haste, I make delays,
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid the eternal ways,
And what is mine shall know my face.

Asleep, awake, by night or day,
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide of destiny.

What matter if I stand alone?
I wait with joy the coming years;
My heart shall reap where it hath sown,
And garner up its fruit of tears.

The waters know their own and draw
The brook that springs in yonder height;
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delight.

The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,
Can keep my own away from me.


.................... NO MORE WAITING NOW ....................

(tangkap syahdu pulak dahhhh)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

FB anyone?

Hmmmm..... gotcha !!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Lama nyer tak berenang....

I am still has no confidence (yet) to jump into the pool... afraid if the stitches get infected (its a ridiculous thought.. I know..) .... nanti lah.. dah janji dgn adik dan jiran untuk mulakan kelas berenang soon.. kekekeke...


Tapi kan... while I was browsing the net (DesignRulz), I found fake-swimming-pool huaaaa...... ni ssemua berlaku kat Jepun... hai yooo manyak kretip laaa.......

Korang jgn terjun pulak tau, kalau jumpa pool ni kat tepi jalan! Mau benjol kepala!!


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Anger Management

Have you ever feel unloved or angry for no specific reason? Or may be you feel not important just because there are some one else is better than you? They could be your brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, or even your best friend. You cannot run away with the feeling because one day the feeling will get heated and finally you throw your tantrum to others.

What is tantrum? Tantrum is type of emotional expression. For example, when your parents telling you something that you may not agree with, instead of talking to them politely, you might slam the door, yell at them, or just leave the room. May be you have observed at the shopping mall, small child was crying out loud because the mother refuse to buy him or her the toy on the rack. That is tantrum.
You must know how to control your negative emotion (like angry) so that you would not get tantrum. Here is the checklist for you to ask yourself:

i. WHAT makes you angry?

Is it when….
• People always pick on you?
• You don’t understand what people want from you?
• No body is listening to what you want?
• _______________________________________

ii. WHAT you think when you are angry?

Are you thinking to …
• Hurt others before they can hurt you ?
• Hurt yourself because you think you should be punished?
• Want to argue with the authority (teacher, parents, prefect)?
• _______________________________________

iii. HOW do you feel that time?

Are you feeling…
• Frustrated?
• Downhearted?
• Powerless to do anything about your life?
• _______________________________________

Try to observe your own emotion for a week. See how many time(s) in a week you feel angry. See how you deal with your anger. Does anger help you to solve your problem? What are the consequences after you show your tantrum?
Let’s identify things that you do to help you stay calm. List all the positive strategies that help you most to deal with the feeling of anger.

• Listen to music and sing along
• Talk to yourself – self monologue
• Do physical activities like some exercise
• Write your feeling in diary or create a blog

Remember, you have to control your anger, before it controls you! Talk to someone you trust is the best. You can talk to your parents, siblings, friends, teachers or go and see your school counselor – anyone that can help you to work on your feelings, help you to build up strategies in dealing with difficult situations that may trigger you anger. Sometimes, anger could boost your creativity. You can always let go your feelings by writing poems, song lyrics or any form of art projects!

Each time you feel angry, you could use the positive methods that work for you to control your anger. Try to think of solutions. This will help you successfully resolve your anger in a positive way.

Dr.Norzah Abd Ghani

Sunday, April 17, 2011


Kelakar bagi yang rasa kelakar....

(taken from internet... so its not from my camera!)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Jalan jalan....

As I do my internet-walking... I saw this in one of the forums I have visited...hmmmm... well, dont take it too serious... at least the 'owner' brave enough to write in English huh!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Akademi Fantasia @ Home

Well, the heat of Akademi Fantasia is on. Though I am not a fanatic fan (used to be hihihihihi) but I have strong fond to music. I didnt get any formal music class, or vocal class... but because of great exposure to music instruments, bands and observing my brothers playing those 'magic things' has so much influence in my life.

As the youngest in the family I always felt that I was 'used' by them... pegi kedai, kemas umah, kemas itu, amik ini, susun itu, susun ini.... and I had no chance at all to play the 'magic things' at home... not until my brothers were out... then, silently I touch here and there... play here and there... And that's the way I learnt the 'magic things'. Until I said to myself that ONE DAY... I WILL HAVE MY OWN STUDIO .... AND ALL MINE!!

I was somewhere between muddled and nonexistent - sometimes I profoundly misundertand the elasticity of my presence at home. But during my university life, music--and performance help me to cope. Music has constantly help me to feel new, fresh, enjoy and absorb life positively.

Now, my concept is music help us to aid ourselves and others in enjoying life. I want music to be a medium for all of us to stay organized, making learning as part of games which are fun and educational!

And to my 'femes' neighbor.... thanks for giving me the trust to teach your talented boy!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Balik kampoonggg.....

Sweet old memories ........... tak semena mena....... tergerak nak balik kampung.....

Thursday, March 17, 2011

back to work...

i dont know where to begin... how to begin...

but one thing i know that adik dha will not hesitate to take legal action to the individual(s) (or the organization that person(s) work) if they do not follow the G.O properly!!

one day......

"bangang" said adik dhada....

"of*s awak ni tak tau ke saya jaga kes kes t*t*t*t*b???? peraturan mana yg dia ikut ni?"

and the t*m**an p*n***h at hosp*ta* p***ra*a*a pun ketawa sinis ttg surat yg mereka terima dari that individual.....

apa pun... I AM BACK TO WORK!

money money money.... its so a rich man world....

practice make perfect...

inbound and outbound...

to adik dhada... 'sabar eh.. sabar .... Tuhan akan balas orang orang yang menganiayai orang lain'...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

2011 is here... and i am too!

Life has been good .. at least I see it from my view .. though people keep on showing their sympathy and empathy, I still feel that I am strong and fit enough to face these challenges.

At least, its a turning point in my life: be moderate in whatever I choose to do.

My new year was exciting to me after a long long long break in 2010 but again, the excitement was challenged by my condition. My sister noticed the abnormality at my leg. She felt the skin was too soft and as if there is liquid/puss in it. So she took me to the private clinic, Dr Hanita was not in, so we went to Dr Lisa Alis. The doctor advised us to go the specialist. So, we have to wait till the next day. (Even though the next appointment was in 20 January, tapi dia nak gak bawa g hospital Monday tu, 3 January 2011).

Meeting the doctor at Othor Putrajaya is like &^%(* ... but we are fortunate that we know MR Ewe, MR Tan, specialists in Othor. MR Tan was my specialist when I had slipdisc and he is a VERY VERY GOOD and the job suites him.

So the MO did some cut and there was minimum puss at the soft area near my leg. They admitted me on the spot. They want to do incision and drainage procedure. Huaaaaaaaa

But at least, before I left home, sempat juga men-decor my studio... kekekekekekke..... this is me ... huhuhuhu still in the hospital

Monday, October 18, 2010

Assalamualaikum...telah terlalu lama aku tidak menulis..hari ini aku menulis kembali..mengasah dan mengilap semula segala aspek linguistik yang masih aku miliki setelah Tragedi 30 OKTOBER 2010 yang membawa banyak hikmah dalam hidupku..Catatan suara hati ini sekadar monolog dalaman agar diri ini tenang selepas kuzahirkan segala yang terdetik dalam mindaku yang masih samar ini. Pertamanya..lafaz syukurku kehadzrat Illahi kerana hingga ke saat ini aku masih bernafas meskipun banyak kesangsaraan fizikal dan mental yang perlu kutanggung selepas keretaku dirempuh oleh sebuah kereta Sutera hitam yang melayang dari arah yang bertentangan terbang merentasi pembahagi jalan di highway Pricinct 16 Putrajaya ketika aku mahu pulang dari pejabat. Masihku ingat detik itu, jam menunjukkan pukul 4.45 petang. Aku baru sahaja dijemput oleh adikku Raja K RMK (anak kepada Mak Ungku J yang memeliharaku saling tak tumpah spt anaknya sendiri..alhamdulillah)yang baru pulang dari UPM bagi menyiapkan Ph.D keduanya. (Sesungguhnya dia adalah adik yang amat baik dan bertanggungjawab selain drp layak digelar scholar sejati kerana telah mendapat dua degree, tiga master dan bakal meraih ph.d kedalam usia yang masih muda.)

Aku sempat menjerit menyebut " dikkkkkk keretaaaaa dari sebelahhhh!" sebelum pandangan dan deria nrasaku di matikan sekita oleh Allah SAW (sesungguhnya jika tidak berlaku sedemikian pastinya sampai kesaat ini aku akan trauma ketika melihat sebarang kereta di jalan raya. Seterusnya aku hanya sedar orang bertanya sayup sayup kedengaran " minta kebenaran untuk gunting blazer puan ye?" dan aku cuba mengangguk lemah.Aku kembali tidak sedar..sehingga aku terdengar suara lembut menegurku.."Tahu tak puanimana?" Aku cuba menggelengkan kepala, namun tengkukku amat sakit dan terasa ada benda keras menghalang pergerakan. Aku ingat tika aku bertanya "Dimana ni?" Begitu penat dan sakit seluruh tubuh aku rasakan. "tahutak waktu bila ni, puan?" tanya suara itu lagi. Aku ternampak budak muda seperti seorang doktor layaknya. Aku terus bertanya 'pukul berapa sekarang?" dia menjawab pukul 11 malam. "Ya Allah kan tadi aku baru balik dari bekerja. Pandangankku kembali gelap. Bila aku sedar semui la aku terasa seluruh badanku terasa renyuk. Kedua dua kakiku amat berat. Begitu juga tangan kiriku. Aku pun bertanya " kenapa tangan ni berat? Kenapa kaki8 ni berat" tiba-tiba ku terdengar suara Mak (Mak Ungku) " Patah ak..letak simen tulah berat". "Macamana emak ada disisi , emak kan di JB? Otakku tidak lagi upaya memproses apa apa maklumat. Apakah komputer mindaku jammed? OMG..It does not compute.
Pandanganku kembali gelap.......aku terlena dalam kesakitan yang amat sangat.
Hari ke Dua
Malam itu entah berapa kali aku diambil darah dan di check tekanan darah ku..rasanya paling tidak pun empat kali ..jam 9,11 , 3 jam 5..Jam 5 nurse datang untuk tukar cadar...aku masih dalam keadaan separa sedar. Bila aku sedar kulihat seorang Dr. yang amat muda (dalam lingkungan 24 tahun)berdiri disisiku..sebesar anak angkatku Aping dan Ai Mie yang masih menuntut di UPM dalam bidang kejuruteraan dan arkitek. Dr. yang kurus, putih, berambut panjang itu memperkenalkan dirinya sebagai Dr Asther. Dia menjelaskan keadaanku. Kaki kananku dan tangan kiriku patah.Aku terus mbertanya keadaan adikku. Rupanya adik berada dikatil dihujung kakiku. Aku cuba melihat wajahnya. Macam biasa. Dia tampak tenang. Adikku sering tenang sebagaimana sakit sekalipun.Itu yang aku kagumi. Alhamdsulillah..dia selamat.Dr. Asther bertanyakan itu dan ini..aku cuba menjawab sedaya upayaku..dia bertanya tentang kerjaku..aku ..malangnya aku tidak ingat apa yang kujawab.`Selepas DR Aster pergi aku bertanya apa yang berlaku kepada mak. Mak menjelaskan bahawa ada kereta terbabas melintasi pembahagi jalan lalu menghentam keretaku...kemudian keretaku berpusing ik lalu dihentam oleh dua buah kereta dari belakangku. Aku terpererosok dibawah dashboard..Sebentar kemudian aku didatangi sekumpulan doktor.Yang aku dengar Dr.Asther memperkenalkan aku kepada mereka.." This is Dr. Norzah... she involved.....bla bla bla..." Terlalu banyak soal jawab..kenapa mindaku tidak cergas menangkap seperti biasa? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Tengahari itu begitu ramai orang berkunjung dan aku begitu rancak menerangkan keadaanku ..sebenarnya ketika itu aku masih LALOK....*Sebenarnya ketika ini pun masih banyak yang aku lupa...Kepalaku sering pusing seperti roller coaster dan tiba -tiba brek...dan aku tercampak rasanya... Adakalanya berpusing seperti globe..dalam keadaan yang lain pula aku seolah olah berada diatas jongkang jongket gergasi..OMG!(bersambung)

Monday, September 6, 2010

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Alhamdulillah... she is showing so much improvement....

"I wanna go to the market..... today.... I want to masak Caremel...."

"... wanna follow??..... tapi bakul ni tak muat lah.."

"My daring look" kekekeke

Persediaan Pra Raya

Hhehehehhee puasa baru 4 days and yet, I am talking about Raya.... this is adik dhada's fine touch....

Hasil seni adik dhada .... hmmmmmm bila laaa dia ni nak 'balik' Malaysia...

Reunion.... Fast and Furious

Havoc giler...

See you guys .... pok pek pok pek...


Maleh nak komen... sbb tu den tulis 'fast and furious' ....

Why fast and furious? because.......time flies so fast..... and yet, we cannot see how 'huge' we became....